Jetzt Kommt Werbung
Before we moved to Germany for the first time, I was never allowed to watch the Simpsons; I was 10 and Jackie was 7, and my Mom considered it a Bad Influence on us. And to be fair, she was probably right that the satirical elements would have gone over our heads. But when it became clear that it was the only familiar show on German television, my mother allowed us to watch the German-dubbed "Die Simpsons" - but only "to improve our German." Then we came back home and continued watching, perhaps to "improve our English." In any case, I only was introduced to the show because it was the best of many dubious options on German television.
Twelve years later, not much has changed. Of the 40 channels we have access to on our adorable 12'' TV, only about 20 of them come in as anything but snow, and of those 20, at least 8 are repeats (channels 1 and 2 show the exact same program, as do channels 4 and 23 and 38, etc.). Of the working, unique channels, one is BBC world, which fills each 24-hour period byalternating between discussing one or two major world headlines and updating scattered Brit-pats on cricket scores. Did you know that some cricket team's captain just suffered an injury that might cause him to sit out the season? Do you know when the cricket season starts and ends, incidentally? Can you actually explain the game of cricket without visual aids and a blackboard? That's what I thought.
The other English-language channel is CNN World, which interrupts its two major headlines (the same ones on BBC World) with updates of every single stock exchange percentage gain net profit shares boilerplate in the entire First World. Occasionally, there will be a two-minute commercial for Croatia - yes, the entire country - with technicolor pictures of coastlines and a plucky mandolin jingle behind a voicover describing Croatia as "the Mediterranean as it once was." It's unclear whether they mean that "the Mediterranean" all used to be much farther east, or that the recent mandolin-bans have robbed Greece and Italy of its former character, or that Croatia is the obvious next choice for all those people who just hate the weather and cuisine of the south of France. I know they don't mean that Croatia is "the Mediterranean, before lots of our chickens came down with bird flu," because CNN followed one of those commercials with a special report on the status of the diseased birds in, of course, Croatia.
Of the other channels, all of them German-language, three of them seem to be around-the-clock shopping channels for hideous jewelry and barely discounted techno-gear, and two or three are politics- and news-heavy. The rest are fairly "normal," if by "normal" you mean "mainly dubbed American TV shows and French movies and a frighteningly large frequency of historical documentaries about the world wars." My favorite channel, and really the only one besides CNN/BBC that I ever attempt to watch, is the one that seems to be vaguely associated with Nickelodeon - at least, it has an orange, splashy logo and calls itself "Nick-Comedy." Starting around 9pm on weeknights, it shows a rotation of British and American sitcoms ("My Family," "Coupling," "Mad About You," and "Girlfriends") and candid camera shows ("Just For Laughs" and "Trigger Happy TV"), all dubbed into German and all repeating starting at midnight. The only one I really watch, you could call it my "Simpsons" for this trip to Germany, is the British "Coupling," which is fairly well-known, I think, as the sort of British analog of "Friends." It is a bit similar, to the extent that there are three male and three female main characters and much of the action goes on in their favorite drink-selling establishment. In all other ways, as far as I can tell what with the dubious quality of the dubbing, the shows are completely different. First of all, none of the characters are related, and second, they hang out in the neighborhood pub, and are rarely if ever seen drinking coffee. The best thing about the show is that it plays twice in a night, so I can watch it once for the plot, and then a second time to try to lip-read the English dialogue and compare it to the German dubbing. This is only sometimes possible, but sometimes I learn some good phrases, like how to say, in German, "bloody hell!" and "yes, quite."
So I watch Coupling to "improve my German," though I would almost rather watch the non-dubbed version, to "improve my fake British accent." In any case, I do appreciate the German schedule of commercials, which for a half-hour show is before the show, once halfway through, and at the end. On Nick-Comedy, the commercials at the midpoint are almost always advertising the channel's other programs, so I rarely have to watch actual commercials. Also, all of the channels give you a nice warning that, "Jetzt kommt Werbung!" ("Now for advertisement"), so I can get up to turn down the volume. A remote? That's probably something that you get in an apartment with a monthly rent that's more than the price of an iPod.
Twelve years later, not much has changed. Of the 40 channels we have access to on our adorable 12'' TV, only about 20 of them come in as anything but snow, and of those 20, at least 8 are repeats (channels 1 and 2 show the exact same program, as do channels 4 and 23 and 38, etc.). Of the working, unique channels, one is BBC world, which fills each 24-hour period byalternating between discussing one or two major world headlines and updating scattered Brit-pats on cricket scores. Did you know that some cricket team's captain just suffered an injury that might cause him to sit out the season? Do you know when the cricket season starts and ends, incidentally? Can you actually explain the game of cricket without visual aids and a blackboard? That's what I thought.
The other English-language channel is CNN World, which interrupts its two major headlines (the same ones on BBC World) with updates of every single stock exchange percentage gain net profit shares boilerplate in the entire First World. Occasionally, there will be a two-minute commercial for Croatia - yes, the entire country - with technicolor pictures of coastlines and a plucky mandolin jingle behind a voicover describing Croatia as "the Mediterranean as it once was." It's unclear whether they mean that "the Mediterranean" all used to be much farther east, or that the recent mandolin-bans have robbed Greece and Italy of its former character, or that Croatia is the obvious next choice for all those people who just hate the weather and cuisine of the south of France. I know they don't mean that Croatia is "the Mediterranean, before lots of our chickens came down with bird flu," because CNN followed one of those commercials with a special report on the status of the diseased birds in, of course, Croatia.
Of the other channels, all of them German-language, three of them seem to be around-the-clock shopping channels for hideous jewelry and barely discounted techno-gear, and two or three are politics- and news-heavy. The rest are fairly "normal," if by "normal" you mean "mainly dubbed American TV shows and French movies and a frighteningly large frequency of historical documentaries about the world wars." My favorite channel, and really the only one besides CNN/BBC that I ever attempt to watch, is the one that seems to be vaguely associated with Nickelodeon - at least, it has an orange, splashy logo and calls itself "Nick-Comedy." Starting around 9pm on weeknights, it shows a rotation of British and American sitcoms ("My Family," "Coupling," "Mad About You," and "Girlfriends") and candid camera shows ("Just For Laughs" and "Trigger Happy TV"), all dubbed into German and all repeating starting at midnight. The only one I really watch, you could call it my "Simpsons" for this trip to Germany, is the British "Coupling," which is fairly well-known, I think, as the sort of British analog of "Friends." It is a bit similar, to the extent that there are three male and three female main characters and much of the action goes on in their favorite drink-selling establishment. In all other ways, as far as I can tell what with the dubious quality of the dubbing, the shows are completely different. First of all, none of the characters are related, and second, they hang out in the neighborhood pub, and are rarely if ever seen drinking coffee. The best thing about the show is that it plays twice in a night, so I can watch it once for the plot, and then a second time to try to lip-read the English dialogue and compare it to the German dubbing. This is only sometimes possible, but sometimes I learn some good phrases, like how to say, in German, "bloody hell!" and "yes, quite."
So I watch Coupling to "improve my German," though I would almost rather watch the non-dubbed version, to "improve my fake British accent." In any case, I do appreciate the German schedule of commercials, which for a half-hour show is before the show, once halfway through, and at the end. On Nick-Comedy, the commercials at the midpoint are almost always advertising the channel's other programs, so I rarely have to watch actual commercials. Also, all of the channels give you a nice warning that, "Jetzt kommt Werbung!" ("Now for advertisement"), so I can get up to turn down the volume. A remote? That's probably something that you get in an apartment with a monthly rent that's more than the price of an iPod.
posted by Katherine at 11:22 AM
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